


Muffled Scream

by Crownonymous



Series: Whumptober 2019 [18]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Whump, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crownonymous/pseuds/Crownonymous
Summary: Roman's an actor. So he acts.
Series: Whumptober 2019 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1522484
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	Muffled Scream

**Author's Note:**

> Day 18 of Whumptober 2019. First posted onto my tumblr, now I'm crossposting here.

Lying is no different from acting. There was a role, and there was a script. There were ways to embellish hand movements, and there were ways to enunciate words. Tilt his head just so, curl the corner of his lips just so, play the part of the perfect prince Just So.

He was the Prince! The fancies, the dreams, the hopes and aspirations. He was every song Thomas sings in the shower. He was every part played, he was every musical, every video. He was every poetry and every brushstroke, every colour on the palette and every snapshot of an idea that was ever flipped through in the picturebook of Thomas’ career.

Roman was all of that. Thomas needed that part of him. Thomas needed that Roman who would valiantly slay dragon witches of every kind and still make it back in time for auditions.

So that’s all that Roman would be.

His room was duller than he remembered. The disney posters on the wall have long since lost their lustre. The bedsheets were bleak and grey, the sunlight streaming from the windows were glacial, the birds that had once perched outside his window were nowhere to be found.

Roman had his back against his door. In a few minutes, he would be called out. Time for Creativity to once again lend his hand, time for Creativity to pour his heart and his soul into making something that he would never feel was enough. Time for Creativity to face everyone else again as the perfect prince, the knight in lonely-

Sorry.

The knight in  _ shining _ armour.

And really, Roman wasn’t truly lying every time he said that he was fine. That he was okay. The he didn’t care every time Logan criticised his work or when Patton urged him to go to the wedding. He didn’t care that Virgil never saw eye-to-eye with him or that Deceit didn’t speak up when he noticed the little changes on Roman.

He wasn’t truly lying.

He was just acting.

He was playing his part.

Playing his part as Creativity. As the Prince. The one who’s never sad, the one who never falters, the shield and the sword to fight for Thomas’ dreams. He was just playing a part.

He has a script. He’s playing along. He rips out the pages that the other Sides don’t need and he crosses out the lines he doesn’t need to say. They need the Roman with a witty tongue and steady hands. So he needs to play the part.

And he cuts out the part of him that wants comfort. He cuts out the bitterness and the sadness and the rage and and and

He cuts out everything they don’t need.

Roman was screaming inside.

But they don’t need that.

So he cuts it all out.

He crosses out the words he doesn’t need to say.

And he rips up the pages the other Sides don’t need to see.

He’s not lying.

He’s just playing a role.

Even if he has to die inside.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know what I'm writing next click over [HERE](https://crownonymous.tumblr.com/sched)  
> If you want to stay updated on the progress I've made on my fics click [HERE](https://crownonymous.tumblr.com/tagged/crownonynews)  
> And if you want to come say hi or just get bombarded with random posts, you can find me over [HERE](https://landofsaltandshade.tumblr.com/)  
> If you’re interested in more Sanders Sides post, my TS Sideblog is over [HERE](https://hufflepuff-deceit.tumblr.com/fanfic)


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